In Harmony Insights
Feeling Unheard? Try this...
Learn 3 practical strategies to feel heard in relationships—clear communication, timing, and avoiding thinking traps.
When your words feel like they’re bouncing off a wall, it’s easy to feel invisible. The good news: there are practical ways to shift the conversation toward connection. Here are three questions to ask yourself when you’re struggling to be heard.
1. Am I expressing myself clearly?
When emotions run high, it can feel like nothing is getting through. Pause, take a breath, and use “I” statements to stay grounded. Keep responses short and focused so your partner has space to reflect back what they’ve heard.
2. Am I speaking at the right time?
Being heard matters—but timing matters too. Check in with yourself: are you calm enough for a respectful exchange? Then check with your partner: are they ready to listen? If not, table the conversation and return later. Pro Tip: Schedule a weekly check-in to create dedicated space for conflict resolution, stress-reducing conversations, and staying aligned as a couple.
3. Am I caught in a thinking trap?
It’s human to focus on the negative, but patterns like mind reading (“They don’t care about me”) or catastrophizing (“They never listen”) can derail connection. Watch for words like “should,” “always,” or “never”—they’re red flags. If you notice them, pause and reframe. For example, instead of “They never listen,” try “I feel unheard right now, and I’d like to share what matters most to me.”
Remember
Effective communication is hard, and no one gets it right every time. What matters most is that you keep trying—and when you veer off course, you use strategies to get back on track. Your emotions may rise up, but they don’t have to overpower you. By slowing down and choosing connection over conflict, you create space for more meaningful conversations: less rejection, more understanding, and a stronger bond with your partner.
